Achieved | Achievement | % of players | Unlock date |
|---|---|---|---|
 | Win a Round Stay a while and listen. | 6.16% | 01/01/2018, 11:28:54 |
 | Get 10 Gems Just great! I've traded the dark and musky interior of a treasure chest for the even darker and muskier interior of your pocket! | 3.61% | 01/01/2018, 11:28:54 |
 | Play Ten Rounds Big money, big prizes, I love it! | 3.59% | 01/01/2018, 11:40:45 |
 | Break 250 Blocks The kid just rages for a while. | 3.33% | 01/01/2018, 11:40:45 |
 | Win Three Rounds in a Row Toasty! | 3.19% | |
 | Buy Something in the Boutique What're you buyin'? | 2.29% | 01/01/2018, 11:28:54 |
 | Get 50 Gems Please insert Disk 2. | 2.23% | 01/01/2018, 11:40:45 |
 | Play the Tutorial If these ruins frighten you, take comfort from the knowledge that I am here. | 2.18% | 01/01/2018, 11:28:54 |
| Win Five Rounds in a Row M-M-M-MONSTER KILL! | 2.08% | |
 | Get 100 Gems Booker! Catch! | 1.77% | 04/01/2018, 23:04:12 |
 | Win a Round with the Scoop Paddle It's a lot like soccer, but more like basketball, and nothing like soccer. | 1.75% | |
 | Win 2 Rounds in a Row in Gem Hunt Mode Dirt is gold- just part of the earth. | 1.72% | |
 | Break 1000 Blocks This is my rifle. There are many like it... but I call it "Cuddles." | 1.7% | |
 | Play 50 Rounds Show me your moves! | 1.61% | |
 | Detonate 10 Bombs A bomb has been planted at the base. | 1.52% | 04/01/2018, 23:04:12 |
 | Win 3 Rounds in a Row in Gem Hunt Mode A spy without a gadget is like a shopping cart without a broken wheel. | 1.44% | |
 | Win a Challenge Round So, another brave apprentice! You'll never make it through these castle walls alive! Bahaha! | 1.36% | |
 | Break the Sound Barrier with the Speedball Everything ripped apart in a New York minute. | 1.34% | 04/01/2018, 23:04:12 |
 | Win a Round with the Tripaddle Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong. | 1.33% | 01/01/2018, 11:36:50 |
 | Beat a Challenge Round in Gem Hunt Mode Come here, you phlegm-carapaced, slime-faced, mucus-brained, furry legged abductor of luminously intelligent but pulchritudinous Earth women! | 1.26% | |
 | Break 10 Blocks in a Row FLÄSHYN | 1.22% | |
 | Lock the Wall 20 Times Nothing is true. Everything is permitted. | 1.15% | |
| Win 3 Challenge Rounds My armored carrier is more than a match for his ancient weapons! | 1.09% | |
| Break 2500 Blocks As the moon burned bright above, I strode valiantly toward my destiny, and vowed to return victorious. | 1.06% | |
| Activate 30 Wildcards How 'bout a little Magitek mayhem? | 1.04% | |
| Win 5 Challenge Rounds 0451 | 1% | |
| Play 150 Rounds Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? | 0.89% | |
 | Beat a Challenge in Arcade Mode You're about to take the first step on the longest journey of your life. | 0.88% | |
 | Erase All Progress It's dangerous to go alone. Take this. | 0.76% | |
 | Minimize the Gem Paddle You are a small, prowling mouse... and dumb like a mouse! | 0.72% | 01/01/2018, 11:36:50 |
| Get the Breakerball to Low Health without Dying When I'm on the road, I'm indestructible. No one can stop me... but they try. | 0.68% | |
 | Bounce 30 Different Gems with Gem Shields I've always equated feelings with getting caught; they both get in the way of my money. | 0.68% | |
| Maximize the Gem Paddle Size doesn't matter. Except when it does. Which is always. | 0.68% | |
 | Unlock all Bronze Achievements The position of the artist is humble. He is essentially a channel. | 0.64% | |
| Go the Full 20 Rounds in Arcade Mode You're Winner! | 0.64% | |
| Unlock all Silver Achievements The surface of things gives enjoyment. Their interiority gives life. | 0.5% | |
| Win 100 Rounds with the Scoop and/or Tripaddle WAAAHHHH!!! | 0.48% | |
| Unlock all Gold Achievements The truly modern artist is aware of abstraction in an emotion of beauty. | 0.48% | |
| Beat Arcade Mode Without Losing a Life To defeat them is a must and bringing peace to the land is my duty! | 0.48% |